It is what it is
by MssChief
Summary: After one of their encounters, Cherie Jaffe reflects on her relationship with Shane. Somewhat angsty one-shot. Writen from Cherie's pov.


**Disclaimer:** The L World and all it's characters belong to the respective owners, producers, writers et cetera.. This fanfic does not intend to, or succeeds in, making profit in anyway, please don't sue...

 **Pairing:** Shane + Cherie Jaffe Angsty

 **Rating: M** – just to be on the safe side... mild cursing, mentions of substance abuse and.. the "l" word!

 **Author's note 1:** Thank you in advance for taking time to read this fic, constructive criticism is appreciated, favs and praise are reverently adored... Seriously do comment. I'm kind of a beginner althought I published here for a while under but eh.. life got in the way lol so, I decided to start here fresh. Also this is my first time ever writing anything angsty...

 **Author's note 2:** First let me say that I do love the Shane and Carmen ship and I simply hate that they did not marry.. But having said that, I am committing the cardinal L Wordian sin of writing Cherie Jaffe and Shane.

Because I haven't seen much of it around here ( if you know good fics do tell...) and Carmen and Shane, as well as other Shane + ships are already beautifully represented by so many lovely authors. And also I think that in a certain way they might have been a good match, because they could understand each other in a unique way.

This is a one shot although I have some other fics in mind depending on the muse ( and on you guys..) Finally, as you might have guessed English is not my first language and I don't have a beta.

ps- The song mentioned in this fic, is "txoria txori" a very beautiful basque song, which you can find on youtube if you don't know it yet.

 **It is what it is**

Somethings in life defy definition, and she knows this all too well.. Raw emotion at times surpasses higher functions, reason and often common sense.

There's in something in her that awakes her from numbness, but at the same time creates an addiction like a drug - far stronger, far purer, than the best narcotics her wealth can buy.  
The scent of her on her sheets and on her own body, the marks on both bodies, that testify to the wake of a burning fire, consuming, demanding.. fucking. It is what it is, or is it not?

One should call things by the name.

Lets face it, its not the "l" word... that word that she will never pronounce, not even deep in her thoughts. Anyway, Shane is the personification of "fuck". The very embodiment of carnal desire and she doubts that any woman could ever change that.

This thought reminds her of a spring in the Basque region, many years ago, when she and her mother would tag along on her father's business trips.

On their hotel's street there was an old man singing "txoria txori" about an elusive bird and clipping her wings.. without wings she would not fly away, but without her wings she will no longer be a bird- and it was the bird that singer loved. 

Such a plain simple thing, but she never forgot it - that if you care, you must accept people the way they are, their light and their darkness. And frankly, maybe it's their darkness that draws them to one another time and time again.

She finds her at her doorstep like a stray. She heals her body, feeds her hunger. She helps her release the darkness within, she knows too well, the unspoken language of the broken and, she knows that no other "friend" or girl can totally see her darkness and understand her demons. This part of Shane, dark as it may be, is hers alone. 

Like a stray once she gets what she needs she will be gone, sometimes she runs off immediately in anger and shame of her need, others, she will spend the night but disappear before dawn. They don't do breakfast, they tend to other hungers... 

Cherie looks to her side and to the exhausted sleeping frame lying in bed next to her. Beautifully oblivious of the world, with a sated, careless expression that never quite reaches her features while she is awake. She resists the need to run her finger through her messy hair and the ridiculous desire to cuddle her in an embrace. This pull, this connection of theirs.. It is what it is and she knows Shane would agree.


End file.
